I wish I could say I don’t know what triggered it, but I do. A movie watched, and it triggered quite a few emotions. I dug out my old burned cd’s, searching for the few songs. Transferred it to my cheap China branded mp3 player. And I listened. It was…heartbreaking. Although those songs had nothing to do with us, the way it was sung reminded me of the good times we had.
I remember once I was on the phone, and I felt my hair being swept back, and I felt the warmth of your kiss on my back. It gave me goosebumps, but in the good way. I told you I liked that, but you didn’t do it often, and I know why. To keep it special, so that I wouldn’t grow sick of it.
I remember resting my head on your chest, and you stroking my hair softly, gently, while we talked about anything and everything. If I had to state my favourite moments in the world, it would be this. I’d give anything to experience this with you, again.
I remember we always shared a chair in my class. You always came to my class, but I hardly, almost never go to yours. How I regret that now, because it would’ve been so much fun to know your friends, your classmates, the way you knew mine.
I remember the first time I put the palm of my hand in yours. It was my first time ever holding a boy’s hand. How strange and foreign it felt, to be holding a hand other than my own, a hand so much bigger than mine. I still remember the feeling, when we clasped our hands together. When our fingers entwined, I felt my stomach twist and turn and flutter in excitement, in happiness. How sad it is, that holding hands has become so overrated that we naturally reach for each other’s whenever we walked side by side. Yet, it is comforting, because that hand which was once foreign is now like my own: comfortable, warm, and it fits perfectly in mine. The gaps between my fingers are filled.
I remember the first time we hugged. Was it really a hug? I would consider it one, although we both felt akward; it was our first time hugging a member of the opposite gender. It was a hug, but not really a hug hug. Not the type that makes you feel like you’re melting into each other, as our arms are wrapped around each other, that we can feel the other person breathe, and you breathe together with them. No, it was a formal, friendly hug. Thank goodness it was our first and last hug of the sort, because our hugs after that were just like I described above. Like we were melting into each other. We’ve had hugs that end up in kisses, tear splashed hugs, hugs that knocked the breath out of me literally, as you squeezed me so hard. Remember I said I like hugs with you, because it felt like as if our body fits each other? I still mean it.
I remember you once wiped the tears away from my eyes, just like how they do in the movies. It was heartbreaking, yet it felt warm, and I felt happy.
I remember so much more, but I’m sure you remember just as much as I do, about this history. :)
